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| Only pack what u need only |
For me the 5 basics are :
1.To pack what you need only
2.Type of bags (luggage, Hand, knap-sack, Computer, money-bag)
2.To pack things with multipurpose or reusable qualities
3.To plan and pack electricals (Computer, handphones, alarms, GPS etc)
4. What you need not bring
5. What you can and should purchase at destination
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| U can lay off the beef for a while... |
Depending whether your trip is for business or pleasure, these are the things and the amount that you must bring :
Slippers …..1 pair of good and light approx 150 grams…(C’mon, this is Adventures of Travel Slippers laaa…of course its priority !!) Please refer to
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| Mr President, you left your slippers !!! |
Toileteries 500-700 grams….Remember to use small clear plastic bottles. Big container liquids will be confiscated by airport authorities. I’ve seen sooo many cases of adults women crying like a retarded Camel with gingivitis pointing at the bin where her recently opened Chanel No 5 lies…No matter how loud she wails….No husband can help her…infact No husband would want to help a wailing Camel with gingivitis!!! Opt for clear plastic bottles as they are lighter than glass bottles. If you use moisturizing lotion like a molting Iguana, it is advisable to buy a family pack bottle at the destination.
Please…for heaven’s sake get a brand new tooth-brush when travelling….Its so embarassing when they check dangle your clear toileterries bag and we all can see your old brush that looks like Macy Gray’s hair and brown stains like a public toilet bowl!!
Please…for heaven’s sake get a brand new tooth-brush when travelling….Its so embarassing when they check dangle your clear toileterries bag and we all can see your old brush that looks like Macy Gray’s hair and brown stains like a public toilet bowl!!
Clothes…all in approx 3-5 kilos…
This is tricky, I can only give advice for men…real men…not metrosexual men or transexual men….Women, well you can read this too, but I doubt you will agree with a simple Amoeba like me..I am covering the essentials in clothes….It is best to roll your clothes like a spring roll to save space in your luggage or bag.
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| Roll it, Roll it, Roll it |
If you are travelling on official visits please add whatever you need to wear to the list, just make up your decision what to wear from home!! don’t blame me if you’re gonna see the Queen of England and you have only shorts and a singlet!! On second thought, maybe the Queen would like to see people in shorts and singlet… It’s about time she finds out the truth about how normal people live….she thinks everywhere in England there’s a bouquet of fresh flowers in every room!! Cause there’s one everywhere she goes!! All the time!! Ever since she was Queen at 25 years of age!!! That’s 300 years ago!!!
The essentials….
Underwear…maximum…3 pieces!!! 150 grams (part of the 3-5 kilos of clothes)
If you are travelling for more than 3 days….say 24 days??? U still need only 3 !!!! U don’t want stinking underwear piling up in the closet!! Wash em’ every day and wear a fresh one!! Its small, we’re not talking about a Duvet cover here!! It’s the size of your palms!! If u complain that its still too big, you lazy bugger….buy a thong!!
Then its half your palm size but a wee bit tricky to wash especially the stringy part that goes between the globes of the moon….I’d use those ridiculous toothbrush provided by the hotel’s vanity kit…I don’t like thongs personaly…they make me spontaneously and uncontrobly laugh and giggle too much..pretty awkward when you’re in a serious meeting with Government officials…. Hmmm…maybe Government officials should start wearing thongs….meetings would be much livelier!!
Then its half your palm size but a wee bit tricky to wash especially the stringy part that goes between the globes of the moon….I’d use those ridiculous toothbrush provided by the hotel’s vanity kit…I don’t like thongs personaly…they make me spontaneously and uncontrobly laugh and giggle too much..pretty awkward when you’re in a serious meeting with Government officials…. Hmmm…maybe Government officials should start wearing thongs….meetings would be much livelier!!
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| Borat's No 1 fan |
Simple Black/White round neck T-Shirt
This is essential because it goes with everything….its simple….its always fashionable, it goes with Jeans/Khaki/Slacks, It goes with a Jacket, Suit top…..entering a Club in a black one is fine….in a plane is OK with a suit…U can also use it as a Pyjama top! With all the thick duvet and bedsheets etc…who needs a pyjama bottom???....its the Swiss Army knife of shirts…
Just beware that u should not buy the thinnest material in the market for it may not conceal your areola and raisins in public. We don’t want people staring at your chest like a wet t-shirt competition right? Especially from fellow blokes with a single earing!!! The best material is the new tech dri-fit that sports brands make....u can easily get them at reputable sports stores.
Just beware that u should not buy the thinnest material in the market for it may not conceal your areola and raisins in public. We don’t want people staring at your chest like a wet t-shirt competition right? Especially from fellow blokes with a single earing!!! The best material is the new tech dri-fit that sports brands make....u can easily get them at reputable sports stores.
How many to bring? 4 maximum….250 grams
if you are travelling for more than 4 days…say 24 days??? U still need 4!!! I sound like a broken record now….just see above (Underwear) for the finer and detailed reasoning.
Jeans/Khaki
U need at least one of these…people don’t give a toss if they’re creased, a bit dirty or whatever…they’re Jeans for heaven’s sake…Everybody wears em’ from Presidents to Katoeys of Pattaya!! To save more weight, wear one when you are travelling….Jeans are not light in weight.
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| Even this famous Polish man wore Khakis...yes he is Polish...not German... |
Swimming /Shorts
This is essential if your going to a place where u don’t have to wrap up yourself before going outdoors…most hotels do have a pool, you may not want to swim but there might be a reason for you wanting to be near the pool….please use your imagination…Do I have to spell out everything for you?? Are you a 40 year old Virgin???
If possible the shorts is OK for you to wear it as a sports wear too i.e. jogging/ walking/gym….Please do not wear this item of clothing with your leather shoes with socks….the pre-war rubber plantation manager of Malaya ‘look’ only works if you are trying to impress an 80 year old British grandma who keeps screaming ‘Long Live the Queen’…..’ The Repulse will save us!!’….
If possible the shorts is OK for you to wear it as a sports wear too i.e. jogging/ walking/gym….Please do not wear this item of clothing with your leather shoes with socks….the pre-war rubber plantation manager of Malaya ‘look’ only works if you are trying to impress an 80 year old British grandma who keeps screaming ‘Long Live the Queen’…..’ The Repulse will save us!!’….
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| Fashionable before the war |
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| Even a famous clown can't get away with it... |
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| Don't even think of wearing this in public... |
Socks
These things are light and cheap….do bring enough…if possible get those polyester ones, they don’t absorb the bad cheese aroma that well. Please when packing socks, do it in a bright lit room…even un-matching black socks look different in a room with sufficient light… You’d have to make excuses if you are caught in such a situation….A man met his friend in a shopping centre. The friend had a look at his feet and asked, "Why are you wearing one red and one black sock"? The man paused for a moment then said, "I have married this stupid woman. She buys funny things. I have another pair like this at home".
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| Wear comfy clothes when you travel...comfy doesn't mean embarassing... |
To be continued in Part trois….
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